December 2

The birth of a mother.

Awena Naomie Ella

Becoming a mother can literally feel like every shred of your identity is being pulled from under you without consent.

Big questions like; Who am I? What do I want? Is this my life now?

Like a running commentary in your mind.

Like treading through unknown territory, blindfolded.

I was utterly bereft of the woman I knew so well. I just expected she would still be there in all her full glory, but with a baby. I wasn’t expecting such a monumental shift in personality, or that I would miss her so much!

When you become a mother It’s like you are being reborn. As your baby comes into the world to breath, live and learn, so do you.

You too are adjusting to the outside world. So, no wonder you feel so strange and out of sync, right?

I remember thinking:

“Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?”

When I asked people they said, “I didn’t want to scare you”.

I was like: “scare me? It would prepare me!”

I often wonder…. Had I been better informed about the becoming of a mother and the emotions I might face along the way, would my PND have been so prevalent?

Although nothing can really prepare you, and every-one is so unique in their experience. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little heads up, or some understanding of the transition of becoming a mum, and what this might bring for you.

Mainly so that you don’t feel so weird, or alone, or like you are a failure or a bad person.

So that you can be aware and acknowledge your feelings as you become immersed in this monumental transitional time. Possibly even learn a little self-care trick or two so you can manage your down days better?

Or at least not spiral into a mass of anxieties, guilt, shame and self-doubt. Am I right?

That’s why it’s so important to touch base and be aware of who YOU are. Finding subtle ways to identify with the woman you are now so that you can flourish in your new world feeling empowered, confident and strong.

A huge part of this is to be with your tribe of mega mammas, the ones who get you and support you without judgment.

When you realise, and you will, that most other women feel the same way you do, you’ll realise that you’re not weird, alone or a bad mum. 

You’re a normal mum.

You are human and just like everybody else. Except Instagram will often portray a different picture.

But I wonder. If being open, honest and by talking to others, sharing in our unfiltered truths was normalized instead of hiding behind a fake smile and shame.

Perhaps even reduce the impact and longevity of PND and isolation? 

Would we be one step closer to changing how society not only views motherhood but prepares and supports women in her transition into becoming of a mother and beyond? 

Perhaps even reduce the impact and longevity of PND and isolation? 

We have the power to be vulnerable and rise strong!

I don’t miss the old me anymore, in fact, I’m much happier with who I am now.

I’m stronger and I’m loving being a mum.  And I am enjoying my life in a whole new amazing way because of it. 

Join our FREE group and explore in the wilds of motherhood together. Your tribe awaits!

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

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The Connected Mother Collective is a super supportive FREE group on facebook. 

A safe, non-judgemental & empowering space for mums to talk openly and honestly about the daily juggle of motherhood.