The Becoming of a Mother
As you birth your baby, you birth a new you. The mother self is born...
Matrescence is the term used that describes the process a woman goes through as she transitions into becoming a mother.
Originally coined by Dana Raphael PhD in 1973, (also coined the more commonly used term doula) it is now becoming a hot topic of discussion, and I personally believe, it’s the beginning of a social movement for change.
You find out you're pregnant and from this day forward you embark upon a new chapter of your life, and you experience the most transformational journey of your life too.
The mother you is new, and you are yet to discover who she is. You are vulnerable, and that's OK.
This unique and magical period of time deserves much attention, respect, and positive influence. You deserve to feel connected and confident so you can flourish and shine in motherhood.
You are learning every day and dealing with an array of challenging emotions, the highs, and the lows, the confused and the conflicted, the joys, the excitement, the passion and the profanity! Matrescence has started.
Motherhood is everything all at once and it’s a monumental life change, so embrace self-compassion and never forget that you are doing a brilliant job!
But let’s face it, it’s not always easy.
My personal journey into Matrescence led me to creating a safe online group designed to provide mums with the support they need to flourish and thrive in motherhood!
This is a video not to miss. Hear my story of rising strong in motherhood.
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What you can expect during Matrescence
During Matrescence you're likely to encounter a vast range of new and often unexpected emotions to deal with.
Experiencing things like; loss of identity, loss of role, grief for your old life as you knew it. You start to question your life’s purpose and see the world a little differently.
The core fundamentals of who you are, morph, change and evolve.
While this is all a normal part of the process, it can feel very challenging, and conflicting, and we seek to find new ways on how to deal with such enormous and new emotions.
Most women will experience dramatic changes physically, psychologically, emotionally, and even spiritually. Your hormones are shifting, and your cognitive abilities are put to the test. Be kind to yourself, you are always enough.
During pregnancy your wonderful cleaver brain shrinks then grows again post birth and continues to adjust and develop making room for new learning for a couple of years after!
So, that ‘mum brain’ that you feel, is a real physical thing. You are not losing the plot, you are transitioning and adapting at every stage.
I like to think of this as your superpower, your incredible body enables you continuously evolve, learn, grow, and developing. Never doubt your inner strength!
Give yourself grace and love as you settle and readjust into your new role as mother.
You are still you, but a new and even stronger more empowered version of you!
Putting your wellbeing first is a must!
You may grieve for your old life and wonder what the future holds or even wonder how to create the future you want for your family.
You feel conflicted and confused but this is not you going crazy; you are learning who you are as a mother and you're navigating your way the best you know how through the changes.
That’s why being kind to yourself, learning to surrender and looking after your wellbeing is paramount here.
As you adjust to your new life new levels of self-compassion and loving kindness are required as you explore this new world.
Every woman goes through this transition in her own unique way.
This is your time, this is your Matrescence.
Why does the world need this help and support?
Not only can this level of awareness and understanding of Matrescence facilitate positive mental health in the mothers of today. But it directly impacts the health and well-being of our future generations and on how women function within society.
The mother is so often overlooked once the baby has arrived, yet she is the one who needs the most support at this stage. The baby has his/her mother to care for them. So, I feel that we, as a society, need to make sure that the mother is cared for too.
You are my why.