Wouldn’t it feel great to be connected with yourself and your child and in the moment feeling grounded, and strong?
Being able to be fully present when you have a head full of ‘stuff’ to do is a skill. But you can learn this skill by bringing in your awareness to the here and now, preserving time to respond to yourself and your child fully and presently.
Not only does this feels amazing, it also helps the connection between you and your child to deepen and helps your bond to grow. Being a busy mum means there is usually something on your mind, something you ‘need to get done’.
And being the super talented multi-tasker that you are often leaves little room for sole focus.
I recently took my boy (now 2.6yr) to visit my family for a week-long holiday with his grandparents. Indulging him in some 1 to 1 well needed granny and grandad time.
Their bond is strong, so I feel it’s important to keep the connection nurtured. Plus, a change of scene is always good, I think.
To be honest, I went there to work on my business and grab some much deserved ‘me time’. Might as well make use of having a babysitter on tap, right?
After spending the first couple of days settling in, I started to actually miss my work, it’s no surprise really as my work is my passion, I LOVE it. I literally cannot get enough. Geek alert…!
During this time I found myself fully immersed in a lovely little bubble with my boy. It was clear that right now he needed me, he needed cuddles and my undivided attention. Sometimes no one will do but mummy. Needless to say, I didn’t get much ‘me time’, or a lie in. I was sooooo looking forward to some lie ins….
Every day was spend doing something fun and outdoors, but in a relaxed fashion, like a stroll to the park or a trip to the lake, or just a potter across town to see some friends. The rest of our time was spent snuggling up on the couch in our pj’s, watching cartoon films on Netflix, playing cars, and reading endless books.
At that point I decided to dedicate the whole holiday to him, well, to us really.
I stopped. I rested.
I took intentional time to pause, get on his level and be present with him and his needs. Funnily enough it turns out they were my needs too. I just hadn’t realised it yet.
Turns out I didn’t need to spend my time working while on holiday. I didn’t need to have a lie in every day (although one would have been nice), and I didn’t need to take myself away and spend an evening out with friends.
I needed to be with him.
From following my instincts and responding to him on his level I was able to relax into it. I felt so much more connected and in tune with him. My evenings were spent in a cuddle puddle while he slept in my arms and I read my book. He was happy and relaxed. And I was actually having some down time, to recover, to think, to focus on my self-care.
Spoiler alert…..It felt wonderful!
Now I know that you have a full life and it’s not always possible to do this all the time. That’s just life. There is always a million and one things to do.
However, if you can dedicate some time to be fully present with your child, you might find that it’s you benefit from this just as much.
With all the unreasonable pressures we put on ourselves to be the ‘perfect mum’ by keeping our children busy, making sure they are stimulated and entertained with fun activities all day long can mean that we overlook the fact that they need time to relax and for self-care too.
Our children are learning from us all the time. They observe our behaviours and respond.
What an amazing gift to give, to be able to teach them to recognise their own needs, to learn to take time out just to be present.
Guilt free and with no judgment. Just acceptance.
So, here is what you can do.
• Take a film day with your little one, keep your pj’s on till lunch or even the whole day!
• Don’t be afraid to stop, give yourself permission to just be.
• Remember, self-care is not selfish. It’s a necessity and a vital and positive lesson to share with our children.
Like I said. A rested mum is a happier mum.
As my manta states. “Awareness is knowledge. It is the understanding that allows us to open for positive change”.
It’s ok to take time out to just be. In fact, I encourage you to. Go on, you deserve it.
Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.
Naomie Ella is mum to one tiny little firecracker and founder of Naomie Ella – Motherhood Transitions. An Occupational Therapist, Entrepreneur, Holistic Life Coach and Well-being Mentor for Mum’s. Naomie is on a personal mission to promote positive maternal mental health and wellness for all mothers. Supporting women to thrive and reconnect with who they are now so they can show up with confidence and inner power as they navigate motherhood.
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