All posts by Naomie Ella

Motherhood is hard

Motherhood is hard – Fact

Being a mum is incredibly hard work. Fact. 

Is this my new normality? Will it be like this forever? Will I ever get back to that place I once called home? 

Being a mum is incredibly hard work. Fact. 

No one really talks about how insanely difficult motherhood can be, or how demanding or transformative. We aren't born knowing all the answers, we have to learn hard and fast. I’m still catching up!

I wasn’t taught about how to deal with the expectations of being a mum, or how to manage my emotions so that I didn’t crumble into a million pieces. No one warned or prepared me for the monumental rollercoaster I would face.

No one said you’ll transform into a new superhuman capable of multitasking beyond comprehensible measures, and that you’ll love so hard yet be intoxicated with anxieties you didn't even know existed!

Months and months of exhaustion, sleep deprivation and crappy food habits left me feeling misplaced and confounded. And very grumpy! I didn’t feel like me, I didn’t know who I was anymore. 

Motherhood was definitely not the 'Disneyland experience' I thought it would be.

The first year was spent in what I can only describe as mental torture. Sadly, it was a rocky start. A whirlwind of emotions.

Can you relate to these?...

  • I was riddled with grief for my old life
  • I felt a loss of identity
  • Disconnected with who I was, with barely a moment for ‘me time
  • Exhausted beyond belief and no plan of how to move forward

There I was, stuck in a fog of motherhood. 

Don’t get me wrong. I did have some very precious times, I did laugh, and I did love. But sadly, yet not uncommonly, these experiences were, for a long time, overshadowed by the darkness. I found this time incredibly difficult and distressing. 

One year in and I was ready for a challenge - a change - to become creative again, get back into some sort of work. I craved the space and time to have my own thoughts. And partake in something adulty. I wanted to go back to work. 

But I knew at this point that I didn’t want to go back into the 9-5 working week again. The regimented structure has never really suited me. 

I wanted to be creative, be practical, to be helping others. With a Degree in Occupational Therapy and mountain of experience I found myself caught in a whirlwind of ideas battling it out. 

What do I do? How do I do it? And where do I start?! 

I wanted to use my brain again and was so desperate to regain some level of sanity! 

Feeling frustrated and confused, I just couldn’t make any decisions any more. So, I decided to throw the gauntlet down and let the universe tell me what to do….

This is what I did:

I put my big girl pants on, and I did five things that changed my life forever:


- I surrendered to the universe

(Sitting crossed legged, eyes closed, palms facing up I took a big deep breath and said “I surrender to your guidance. I trust in the path you will show me. I am ready, show me what to do, where to start.”)

- I allowed myself to create some ‘me time’, with space to think and plan. 

(This involved grandparents taking my boy to playgroups/park/shopping/anywhere so I could grab an hour to myself)

- I started to make positive change happen. 

(I grabbed opportunities when I saw them)

- YOGA 

(weekly, regular yoga sessions)

- I made an appointment with a Nutritional Therapist 

(This transformed my entire system: mood, weight, and lifted my fog)

I had no idea that a brand-new world was about to explode right in front of me!

After a whole year of self-learning, self-discovery, acceptance and self-love my next chapter began.

I found myself immersed in reading books and watching YouTube videos on starting up home businesses, female entrepreneurship, manifestations and visualisation work. I've always used visualisation and manifestation techniques to guide a lot of my decision making and trust in my intuition. So, for me this was familiar ground, it felt safe and welcoming, but also highly enticing...  

By opening up, letting go, and taking a path of self-exploration I had created the space I needed to figure out a way forward.

Like a lightbulb moment! I knew that I could use my professional expertise as an Occupational Therapist, a Holistic Life Coach, and my own experiences as a mum, to create Occupational Wellness programs for other mums!

The more I immersed myself in this vision of my future, the more I started to feel myself being guided towards setting up a business which could help hundreds, if not thousands of other mums.

As the realisation that this is what I should be doing grew, I found myself waking up with butterflies in my stomach.

I had just been through a huge transformation myself.  And if I found a way to become unstuck, to find my calling. Then maybe I could help other mums, just like me, to find their passions again, regain their identity, their motivation toward creating the life they want. 

I realised I had a story to tell.

Spread the word, support, empower and inspire…Yes!

New ideas were exploding in my head. It was like a massive 'bomb of clarity' had just been dropped. This was how I could incorporate all my passions and achieve fulfilment. It was so exhilarating!

I felt I was being guided from a place of darkness and confusion into a new enriched and gratifying world. I had taken a twisted path to get here, but I now realised that I had the ability and the skills and the desire to help other women who were feeling isolated, disconnected and stuck. Help them to regain their confidence, to trust in themselves, discover their own passions and reinstate balance.

I wanted to help these amazing women to reach a place of clarity and empowerment. I was finally on my path.

I wanted to call out to other mums, to say it’s OK not to feel OK, its normal to be bewildered and exhausted by the trials of motherhood.  

To give hope, inspiration to others, to follow their instincts and discover their passions. To provide a place of belonging and togetherness, a platform to voice our emotions and normalise the craziness of motherhood which so often we don't feel we can vocalise.

It’s not been an easy ride, far from it. I continue to come up against challenges. But, through months of hard work, perseverance and dedication I have developed a new way to work through them.

Surrendering to the universe and throwing blind faith at my intuition was THE BEST decision I ever made. 

I have turned my life around…and for the better!

I am now loving my journey into motherhood and being a mum. I finally have clarity in my life and the bond with my child is so strong and I feel connected with who I am.  I’m happy, and I’m busy creating a life I love. 

I am inspired every single day to reach out to others. My life is better than it has ever been, and I am the very best version of myself. 

And for that I owe everything to my son. My baby. My life changer. My world.

Without him exploding into my life I wouldn’t be here today. Motivated to create change, to be part of a movement in time. 

To empower and inspire women all over the globe to be open, to share their story, to feel understood and have the confidence to make their voice heard.

Remember. You are not alone; we will do this together.

You have got this, and the sisterhood has got your back.

Postnatal Depression & Me

My Story unfiltered 

Truth, honest, raw, vulnerability, courage.

Ok, so here it is.

When I fell pregnant it was quite a surprise. Living in a caravan, planning a huge wedding, saving money, paying debt, plans to travel. Things were pretty great. I always wanted children and my now husband and I were open to the pregnancy and nervously excited. 

We moved into a small cottage in the countryside, I left work and eagerly awaited our baby. I felt excited, loved up, with a giddy spark in my step. I couldn’t wait to birth my baby, I had visions of birthing at home, in the pool, with all my birth partners with me.

I had visions of playing with my baby, meeting friends in coffee houses, loving feeding. I didn’t mind the idea of waking once or twice in the night. I was confident I would know what to do after seeing so many friends do it, all having a great time, loving, smiling, nurturing.

I heard so many stories about how in love you feel post birth and hanging out with the baby at home while watching films and drinking tea. 

My expectations were high, my vision was rosy, I was ready to become a mother.

The reality...

My birth was in hospital, one of my birth partners not allowed in with me, my mum saying she would have to leave because the nurses told us there were too many people on the room, vomiting, needles in my back, lying on my back strapped to beeping machines. 48 hours of labour, I pushed to the depths of hell, fortunately I only had minimal tearing, but he came out with no assistance.

I remember feeling completely out of my mind, happy, relieved, exhausted, overwhelmed.

I didn't sleep at all, no rest for 3 days.

Two days after we arrived home, I came out of my blurry post birth head and my entire physical and psychological being plummeted.

For weeks and months I cried every day, I felt physically sick with regret, I dreaded the feeds and I hated doing it. I felt resentful he didn’t sleep. I felt alone, detached, angry. I hated being a mum, it felt wrong, I wanted my old life back. I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I had to pretend to enjoy it in public, I never told the NHS because I was afraid they would take him away.

I was suicidal with thoughts of running with the buggy into the road so a fast lorry would take us both down. He didn’t deserve this, he didn’t ask to be born. I looked into adoption, asked my husband if he could give him up.

I was riddled with guilt, how could I feel like this, no one else does. Why does everyone else enjoy this, why did they not find this hard?? What was wrong with me?

I was so depressed, conflicted, utterly sleep deprived, only 3-4 hrs broken sleep per night for 5 months.

Can you relate to this?

You are not alone!


Some breakthrough moments

Then after about 6 months I got a bit more sleep. I was pretty vocal about how I was feeling and what was going on. I battled my way through another 4 months, getting better but not brilliant.

But then I had a major motherhood melt down at 10 months.

This release of built up tension, stress, emotion, energy, led me to my turning point of recovery.

I learnt how profound and overwhelming becoming a mother is, I learnt how to reconnect with myself, to rediscover my passions, to build my confidence, my awareness, my acceptance of this new role. 

After that first year I began to feel in tune with being a mother, I was enjoying it, moving forward with it.

The love came flooding in and I began to learn so much more about my incredible, beautiful child. 

I came to learn and to love the new me. The MOTHER ME. 

I had a very rocky start loss of grief for my old life, suicidal thoughts, exhausted beyond belief with no hope of ever getting back to being me, having my own thoughts, or even having any part of life back.

But I took a path of positive change, and I made a conscious decision to change my life.

Now I love being a mum. And I have built a business on the back of my own experience so that I can support other mothers through their transition into motherhood and beyond.


YOU ARE A WARRIOR

Motherhood is so hard, it throws up a whole new world of challenge. We are constantly learning.

But the best way we can learn, understand, nurture, respect and give support to other mothers and prepare other mothers is to talk about this.

To normalize and to share our truths so we can help each other and celebrate each other.

WOMEN EMPOWER WOMEN

To be open and share this story I hope to empower and enable other women to speak out, or at least to not feel so alone. 

Because I promise you, the woman sat next to you is feeling exactly the same. 

No one has their shit together, no one is a ‘Disneymum’.


#matrescence

Remember: you’ve got this, and the sisterhood has got your back.

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

5x Wellbeing tips to avoid overwhelm & live a stress free life

Do you ever feel caught up in the hussle of life?

It’s a brand new year!

But you’re shattered, like utterly exhausted from the chaos of xmas and all the festivities have left you feeling a little less than fabulous. 

With the cold weather, long dark nights, January can leave you feeling low in mood, depleted and with about as much energy as a hermit crab.

So, let’s talk about why you might be feeling so frazzled?

Being the incredible mum that you are, you’ve probably ran yourself ragged by spending your time and energy making sure everyone else is happy, having fun, and meeting their needs. 

Which is a wonderful thing to do, and you’re doing a fantastic job! 

But how often do you put time aside for YOUR wellbeing?

When was the last time YOU took some intentional time out to MEET YOUR NEEDS?

To fill your cup back up.

Here are My top 5 tips!

Here are My top 5 tips! to keep you feeling and being at your best, to prevent the winter blues, burn out and depletion.

So that you can start this year feeling healthy and energized, with easy to implement positive habits that will benefit you and your family as a whole. 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is one of those incredible tools that once you master it, will bring you the most rewarding effects, especially as a mum dealing with life, kids and those millions to do’s that are running around your head every second.Mindfulness is about stepping out of that place in your head and coming back to the here and now, the present. 

By focusing on what you have going on around you, what you are doing in that moment you will instantly feel calmer, less stressed and be overwhelm free. 

Let me ask you - when was the last time you dried your hair and really felt the sensation of the drier on your neck and hair? 

Or the feeling of wiggling your toes in your shoes or slippers? It is simple little things like this that brings you back into the present (and feel great!). 

But aside from this a regular practice of mindfulness is amazing for restoring positive mental health. Regular practice builds up the brain density in certain areas and forms new neurons. 

The areas are responsible for empathy and compassion. Memory function and learning capacity and improving your mood by regulating your emotions. 

Helping you to declutter your thoughts and reduces the stress throughout your body, so you are in a much calmer, happier and in a balanced state of mind and body. Let’s face it, who doesn’t want to feel happier and healthier without spending loads of time and effort?

Try just 5 minutes, or more if you can, every day. 

Discover my “Five quick and easy ways to calm the mind and relax at home” 

Wellness diary

Create a list of healthy and nutritious foods and drinks that you enjoy and what to avoid. Get creative for family meals! And why not get the whole family in on meal planning, it will be fun and take the stress off of you planning it alone!

Pick a few simple exercises that make you happy and that you can easily do.

Start small and increase as you progress. The benefits of starting small means that you are setting yourself up for success rather than frazzling yourself out with too much too soon! Even starting off with some full body stretches for 10 minutes, increasing and leading it up to more that feels good.

Reflecting on your progress will help you to build your confidence and encourage you to keep moving forward, creating healthy and lasting habits that are great for both your mind and body. 

Journal

For some, journaling can be one of those things that can seem overwhelming, worrying about to write, but believe me, when you sit down with your journal and put pen to paper, the thoughts will flow.

Simply write down everything that comes up. Try this in the morning and evening for just a few minutes.  

Getting these thoughts out of your mind and onto paper will help you to de-clutter your thoughts so you can feel calmer and less stressed.

A great way to prevent overwhelm and make space for new neurological pathways to form so you can replace the stress with positive thoughts.

Some people even use this when making big decisions in life. It helps to guide them and clear the fog. 

Self-care plan

Create a plan for some you time. Just a few minutes a day will really help. 

Having a routine like this is a really good way to instil positive habits resulting in improved health and wellbeing. 

This could just be anything from reading a book to a face mask. A walk in the park, calling a friend or even just buying some extra vitamins and supplements.

Predictability also combats stress. Win!

Sleep hygiene

Sleep is so important for your psychological, physical and mental health, not only for you, but for your whole family.  It can also improve your productivity and function; everyone benefits when mummy is in a great sleep pattern!

My top tips....

  • Remove screens at bedtime. Instead what about a nice relaxing bath where you can switch off.

  • Go to bed a little earlier.

  • Listen to a guided meditation

Remember, you have got this mama!

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

The birth of a mother.

Becoming a mother can literally feel like every shred of your identity is being pulled from under you without consent.


Big questions like; Who am I? What do I want? Is this my life now?

Like a running commentary in your mind.

Like treading through unknown territory, blindfolded.

I was utterly bereft of the woman I knew so well. I just expected she would still be there in all her full glory, but with a baby. I wasn’t expecting such a monumental shift in personality, or that I would miss her so much!

When you become a mother It’s like you are being reborn. As your baby comes into the world to breath, live and learn, so do you.

You too are adjusting to the outside world. So, no wonder you feel so strange and out of sync, right?

I remember thinking: 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?”

When I asked people they said, “I didn’t want to scare you”.

I was like: “scare me? It would prepare me!”

I often wonder…. Had I been better informed about the becoming of a mother and the emotions I might face along the way, would my PND have been so prevalent?

Although nothing can really prepare you, and every-one is so unique in their experience. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little heads up, or some understanding of the transition of becoming a mum, and what this might bring for you.

Mainly so that you don’t feel so weird, or alone, or like you are a failure or a bad person.

So that you can be aware and acknowledge your feelings as you become immersed in this monumental transitional time. Possibly even learn a little self-care trick or two so you can manage your down days better?

Or at least not spiral into a mass of anxieties, guilt, shame and self-doubt. Am I right?

That’s why it’s so important to touch base and be aware of who YOU are. Finding subtle ways to identify with the woman you are now so that you can flourish in your new world feeling empowered, confident and strong.

A huge part of this is to be with your tribe of mega mammas, the ones who get you and support you without judgment.

When you realise, and you will, that most other women feel the same way you do, you’ll realise that you’re not weird, alone or a bad mum. 

You’re a normal mum.

You are human and just like everybody else. Except Instagram will often portray a different picture.

But I wonder. If being open, honest and by talking to others, sharing in our unfiltered truths was normalized instead of hiding behind a fake smile and shame. 

Perhaps even reduce the impact and longevity of PND and isolation? 

Would we be one step closer to changing how society not only views motherhood but prepares and supports women in her transition into becoming of a mother and beyond? 

Perhaps even reduce the impact and longevity of PND and isolation? 

We have the power to be vulnerable and rise strong!

I don’t miss the old me anymore, in fact, I’m much happier with who I am now.

I’m stronger and I’m loving being a mum.  And I am enjoying my life in a whole new amazing way because of it. 

Join our FREE group and explore in the wilds of motherhood together. Your tribe awaits! 

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

walking in the woods with stan

Give yourself permission to be present with your child.

Ever think that taking time to be present might just be exactly what you need?

Wouldn’t it feel great to be connected with yourself and your child and in the moment feeling grounded, and strong?

Being able to be fully present when you have a head full of ‘stuff’ to do is a skill. But you can learn this skill by bringing in your awareness to the here and now, preserving time to respond to yourself and your child fully and presently.

Not only does this feels amazing, it also helps the connection between you and your child to deepen and helps your bond to grow. Being a busy mum means there is usually something on your mind, something you ‘need to get done’.

And being the super talented multi-tasker that you are often leaves little room for sole focus.

A rested mum is a happy mum.​

I recently took my boy (now 2.6yr) to visit my family for a week-long holiday with his grandparents. Indulging him in some 1 to 1 well needed granny and grandad time.

Their bond is strong, so I feel it’s important to keep the connection nurtured. Plus, a change of scene is always good, I think.

To be honest, I went there to work on my business and grab some much deserved ‘me time’. Might as well make use of having a babysitter on tap, right?

After spending the first couple of days settling in, I started to actually miss my work, it’s no surprise really as my work is my passion, I LOVE it. I literally cannot get enough. Geek alert…!

During this time I found myself fully immersed in a lovely little bubble with my boy. It was clear that right now he needed me, he needed cuddles and my undivided attention. Sometimes no one will do but mummy. Needless to say, I didn’t get much ‘me time’, or a lie in. I was sooooo looking forward to some lie ins….

Every day was spend doing something fun and outdoors, but in a relaxed fashion, like a stroll to the park or a trip to the lake, or just a potter across town to see some friends. The rest of our time was spent snuggling up on the couch in our pj’s, watching cartoon films on Netflix, playing cars, and reading endless books.

At that point I decided to dedicate the whole holiday to him, well, to us really.

I stopped. I rested.

I took intentional time to pause, get on his level and be present with him and his needs. Funnily enough it turns out they were my needs too. I just hadn’t realised it yet.

Turns out I didn’t need to spend my time working while on holiday. I didn’t need to have a lie in every day (although one would have been nice), and I didn’t need to take myself away and spend an evening out with friends.

I needed to be with him.

From following my instincts and responding to him on his level I was able to relax into it. I felt so much more connected and in tune with him. My evenings were spent in a cuddle puddle while he slept in my arms and I read my book. He was happy and relaxed. And I was actually having some down time, to recover, to think, to focus on my self-care.

Spoiler alert…..It felt wonderful!

Now I know that you have a full life and it’s not always possible to do this all the time. That’s just life. There is always a million and one things to do.

However, if you can dedicate some time to be fully present with your child, you might find that it’s you benefit from this just as much.

With all the unreasonable pressures we put on ourselves to be the ‘perfect mum’ by keeping our children busy, making sure they are stimulated and entertained with fun activities all day long can mean that we overlook the fact that they need time to relax and for self-care too.

Our children are learning from us all the time. They observe our behaviours and respond.

What an amazing gift to give, to be able to teach them to recognise their own needs, to learn to take time out just to be present.

Guilt free and with no judgment. Just acceptance.

So, here is what you can do.

Take a film day with your little one, keep your pj’s on till lunch or even the whole day!
Don’t be afraid to stop, give yourself permission to just be.
Remember, self-care is not selfish. It’s a necessity and a vital and positive lesson to share with our children.

​Like I said.
A rested mum is a happier mum.

As my manta states. “Awareness is knowledge. It is the understanding that allows us to open for positive change”.

It’s ok to take time out to just be. In fact, I encourage you to. Go on, you deserve it.

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

Developing positive mental health for mothers.

Discovering my mother self and revealing her hidden superpower

So, why am I here now, talking to you, sharing my story?

Because I believe in the power of sharing, of open communication, honesty and compassion.

I have this deep love, empathy and respect for all mothers. Well, all women really, and men, and children and everyone in between.

But my passion lies with motherhood and facilitating personal growth and positive maternal mental health for mothers.

What led me to this place?

I kind of fell into my business from a series of events which lead me to where I am now. Although, this was no accident. Everything I have done in my life so far has led me here. I absolutely love being a mum to my incredible little boy.

He is my daily inspiration, and I love what our relationship has morphed into. 
Sure, there are struggles – loads in fact – I’m human, and motherhood is hard.But I have found a way to make my life work for me.

It took me a long time to get to get here and I’ve experienced incredible difficulties with postnatal depression, loss of self and shattered expectations.

Let’s just say, I fell down the rabbit hole. But from this experience came something quite amazing.

Firstly, I knew I couldn’t be alone in feeling like this.

So, after going through a huge transformation myself I knew I needed to reach out to other mums who would be feeling just like I had felt.

Women just like you who feel startled by the unbelievable pressures and expectations of motherhood.

Women who want to re-build their confidence and want to be reacquainted with their old self while discovering their new self.

Women who want to know they are not alone, to feel normal, to feel understood and supported.

To feel connected and get connected with others alike.

Women exactly like you, who are interested to understand and learn more about who they are as they transition into motherhood and beyond. 

I was ready to become a mother!

Motherhood meltdown


I was ten months into motherhood when I experienced a huge crash – a breakdown, I guess. By this point we had moved twice. I was existing on 4 hrs broken sleep a night, had no money and we were living in the attic of my mum’s house. Hummm, no wonder it all became too much!

I was tangled up with grief for the loss of my identity and old life, my freedom and independence. I wrestled with the lack of overwhelming love that I was ‘supposed’ to feel, and my expected natural ability to embrace motherhood with ease and contentment.

As you are fully aware, motherhood is painted as a beautiful thing, social media and glossy magazines tell us so. But for some the reality can be far from it. It certainly was for me.  

The thing is, when you don’t live up to your preconceived expectations, you can feel crushed, like you’ve somehow let yourself down, you feel ashamed and guilty.

Unfortunately, these feelings are experienced by so many women.

So, I am on a mission to change the story.

Two days after we arrived home, I came out of my blurry post birth head and my entire physical and psychological being plummeted.

For weeks and months, I cried every day, I felt physically sick with regret, I dreaded the feeds and I hated doing it. I felt resentful he didn’t sleep.

"I never told the NHS because I was afraid, they would take him away."

The pinnacle of my breakdown was at a friend’s wedding. Funny (not so funny) story.

My husband was preoccupied with his best man duties, helping out with the event, while hobbling about with a broken foot.

So not quite the best time for me to fall head first into a major meltdown, but when is?

I remember being surrounded with well over a hundred wonderful friends in the most incredible setting. Yet, I felt so desperately alone.

I was running ragged from following my baby as he was crawling on the floor while trying to dodge broken glass and stop him from eating mangled scraps of food. I was unable to properly join in with any adult conversation. I couldn’t get involved with much dancing, eating the dinner, or in the wild laughter. Familiar with this feeling?

At that point, I basically couldn’t connect with anyone – not my baby, nor myself.

And that’s when it hit me.

It felt like I was living someone else’s life.

That’s when I had my meltdown.

BREAKTHROUGH


Skip forward two months and I took this unbalanced and frazzled situation into my own hands. I began my own exploration of occupational wellness.

Through yoga, nutritional therapy and my commitment to my own personal growth, I finally found clarity and focus. I felt happy and alert and the quality of my sleep improved. Best of all I reclaimed my pre baby body, so I was feeling great!

Well, I lost most of the weight, and I have way more stretch marks now and a wobbly belly pouch, but hey, that’s what carrying a 10.4lb baby looks like and I can honestly say, I’m ok with that now.

I’m hot on mindfulness and I love doing my meditation and positive visualisations. I’ve always (although not always been in tune) had a connection to my spiritual side. So, I immediately tapped back into this. You know, the universe, manifestation, law of attraction stuff, it’s kinda my bag. And it really does work!

I started to allow myself snippets of time to focus on MY dreams and MY goals.  And most importantly, I worked on my mindset and opened up to positive change. I saw this time in my life as an opportunity to be creative, to create a world I could really thrive in.

My BIG dream was to step up and provide for my family in the way I really wanted to. I wanted to feel satisfaction and achievement in doing something I really loved, something I was passionate about and that made me feel like me.

Guess what? I become a better mother for it because I had connected back to my creativity and my fun bubbly sparkly personality.  I was excited and alive. I felt laughter running through my veins again.

I felt empowered, free, and inspired.

It’s OK to want more and I am totally fine with taking pleasure in doing something for me too.
It doesn’t make me a bad mum; it makes me a great mum because I have committed to growing and learning and teaching my boy the importance of self-exploration and self-love. I went through some very dark times before I reached my breakthrough and I rode a shit storm to get here. But I wouldn’t be here writing this if my storm had not come. And for that I’m eternally grateful.

“Sometimes we need our storm to clear the path for something new.”

I’m a different version of me now. I’m still me, but I’m a stronger me.

I’m telling you all this because I want to help YOU to feel more empowered too! So that you can feel confident to make positive choices, to create balance, and to make lasting positive change. In self-exploration you can build on your knowledge and your awareness of this incredible transition we call motherhood.

My heart grows every day, and I’m filled with excitement and inspiration for my future.

I want you to feel like this too.

You DESERVE to feel AMAZING, to harness your inner superwoman.

And now my mission is to make an impact on thousands of other almighty women.

Yet if I can help just one other mama to feel loved, respected, understood, confident, and enriched with new gusto and force, living a life she loves, then my job is done.

I am someone who sank deep yet recovered in the most nourishing and life affirming way!

I wanted to create something accessible and achievable for other women who feel just like I did.

So that’s exactly what I did!

And that was the birth of my Maternal Wellness business.

Designed by the mother for the mother.

Find out more about how the Six Pillars to Maternal Wellness can help you to feel reconnected, strong and empowered to be the woman and mother you know you deserve to be. 

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

Let’s be perfectly imperfect!

Why the trend of the 'instaperfect' 'instamum' is damaging to new mums.


Mamma! I wanna see those imperfections!

It’s so tempting to cruise through the day pretending we don’t have Weetabix in our hair, and sticky finger marks on our clothes.

We like to imagine we don’t have a mass of broken oat cakes in the bottom of our handbags that cling to our fingers every time we reach for our phone (yuuuuk).

Or admit we let our small humans watch endless cartoons on the iPad in bed just for an extra few minutes sleep in the morning.

Because admitting our imperfections would create cracks in our flawless ‘Disneymum’ lives, right?

But it’s not our fault we want to portray this image or be that mum.

We are constantly told how wonderful motherhood is by the pictures in the glossy magazines of celebrities and picture-perfect families showing us how clean and perfect we should be. And the movies make it look so easy!

Then there is the stream of beautifully presented images that we trawl through endlessly on social media late at night (admit it, you do this too).

Let’s face it, there isn’t exactly a mass of books to describe, advise or just to notify us of the possible realities of motherhood we might face; or that’s its normal to feel overwhelmed, or that it’s normal to feel conflicted, or that It’s normal to feel good and bad at the same time, to feel guilt, frustration, happiness, joy and overwhelming love all at the same time.

Instead, we feel this pressure to meet the expectations perpetuated by the media, that we then put on ourselves before we have even given birth!

Sounds crazy when you say this out loud don’t you think?


When you're pregnant, it’s all about the bump and then come the billions of questions about the baby.

 What’s its name?

Is it a boy or a girl?

Have you got everything you need like crib, nursey, buggy?
• How long to go?
 How much did she weigh?

Where did you have the birth?
 How is feeding going?

Focus quickly shift to the needs of the baby, rather than the mother. So, we don’t really take the opportunity to say what’s really going on because the person asking you with a big glowing smile is expecting you to be a ray of shining perfection. So you are.

More importantly, we often don’t have the time to really sit with our emotions and adjust, it’s all go go go!

I have to admit, in my experience, it’s not so much about the woman who becomes a mother and relentlessly navigates her way around this new world of motherhood. Yet the focus is the baby.

But how about we flip that and just let it all Rip?.

How unbelievably relieving would it be to just let it all go and show our honest raw mother selves without a worry of what the other mums would think?

No judgment.

The thing is; when you do, that’s when you find your tribe. Your sisterhood. Your people who get you because they are you.

Don’t be afraid to be wonderfully open and get real. Be the inspiration.

Be brave amazing mamma.

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

Naomie Ella’s unfiltered truth of becoming a mother

Truth, honest, raw, vulnerability, courage.


Ok, so here it is.

When I fell pregnant it was quite a surprise. Living in a caravan, planning a huge wedding, saving money, paying debt, plans to travel. Things were pretty great.

I always wanted children and my now husband and I were open to the pregnancy and nervously excited.

We moved into a small cottage in the countryside, I left work and eagerly awaited our baby.

I felt excited, loved up, with a giddy spark in my step. I couldn’t wait to birth my baby, I had visions of birthing at home, in the pool, with all my birth partners with me.

I had visions of playing with my baby, meeting friends in coffee houses, loving feeding.

I didn’t mind the idea of waking once or twice in the night. I was confident I would know what to do, and after seeing so many friends do it, all having a great time, loving, smiling, nurturing.

I heard so many stories about how in love you feel post birth and hanging out with the baby at home while watching films and drinking tea. My expectations were high, my vision was rosy...

I was ready to become a mother!

The reality:


My birth was in hospital, one of my birth partners not allowed in with me, my mum saying she would have to leave because the nurses told us there were too many people on the room, vomiting, needles in my back, lying on my back strapped to beeping machines.

48 hours of labour.

I pushed to the depths of hell, fortunately I only had minimal tearing, but he came out with no assistance.

I remember feeling completely out of my mind, happy, relieved, exhausted, overwhelmed.

I didn’t sleep for 3 days.

Two days after we arrived home, I came out of my blurry post birth head and my entire physical and psychological being plummeted.

For weeks and months, I cried every day, I felt physically sick with regret, I dreaded the feeds and I hated doing it. I felt resentful he didn’t sleep.

"I never told the NHS because I was afraid, they would take him away."

I felt alone, detached, angry. I hated being a mum, it felt wrong, I wanted my old life back. I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

I had to pretend to enjoy it in public, I never told the NHS because I was afraid, they would take him away.

I was suicidal with thoughts of running with the buggy into the road so a fast lorry would take us both down. The guilt was unbearable, he didn’t deserve this; he didn’t ask to be born.

I looked into adoption, asked my husband if he could give him up.

I was riddled with guilt, how could I feel like this, no one else does. Why does everyone else enjoy this, why did they not find this hard??

What was wrong wi​th me?

I was so depressed, conflicted, utterly sleep deprived, only 3-4 hrs broken sleep per night for 5 months.

Then after about 6 months I got a bit more sleep.

I was pretty vocal about how I was feeling and what was going on. I battled my way through another 4 months, getting better but not brilliant. But then I had a major motherhood melt down at 10 months.

This release of built up tension, stress, emotion, energy, led me to my turning point of recovery.

I learnt how profound and overwhelming becoming a mother is

I learnt how to reconnect with myself

I rediscovered my passions
I built up my confidence
Increased my awareness

Came to terms with and acceptance of this new role.

After that first year I began to feel in tune with being a mother, I was enjoying it, moving forward with it. The love came flooding in and I began learning about my child and myself.

I had a very rocky start, loss of grief for my old life, suicidal thoughts, exhausted beyond belief with no hope of ever getting back to being me, having my own thoughts, or even having any part of life back.

But I took a path of positive change, and I made some changes in my life.

Now I love being a mum and I have built a business from scratch on the back of my experience, supporting other mothers through their transition into motherhood.

I have made excellent use of my qualifications as an Occupational Therapist, completed further training as a life coach. And now I get to spend my time working with amazing women taking them through a process of positive change.

A process which quite literally saved my life!

Motherhood is so hard; it throws up a whole new world of challenges. And we are constantly learning.

But the best way we can learn, understand, nurture, respect and give support to other mothers and prepare other mothers is to talk about this.

To normalize and to share our truths so we can help each other and celebrate each other.

To be open and share in our journeys.

With this story I hope to empower and enable other women to speak out, or at least to not feel so alone, or like they are a bad mum, or that something is wrong with them.

Because I promise you, the woman sat next to you is feeling exactly the same, no one has their shit together, no one is a Disneymum.

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

Five steps to maternal wellness and how to become your own superhero.

Is this my new normality? Will it be like this forever? Will I ever get back to that place I once called home?

Being a mum is incredibly hard work. Fact.

No one really talks about how insanely difficult motherhood can be, or how demanding or transformative. We aren’t born knowing all the answers, we have to learn hard and fast. I’m still catching up!

I wasn’t taught about how to deal with the expectations of being a mum, or how to manage my emotions so that I didn’t crumble into a million pieces. No one warned or prepared me for the monumental rollercoaster I would face.

No one said you’ll transform into a new superhuman capable of multitasking beyond comprehensible measures, and that you’ll love so hard yet be intoxicated with anxieties you didn’t even know existed!

Months and months of exhaustion, sleep deprivation and crappy food habits left me feeling misplaced and confounded. And very grumpy! I didn’t feel like me, I didn’t know who I was anymore.

Motherhood was definitely not the ‘Disneyland experience’ I thought it would be.

The first year was spent in what I can only describe as mental torture. Sadly, it was a rocky start. A whirlwind of emotions.

o I was riddled with grief for my old life,
o I felt a loss of identity.
o Disconnected with who I was, with barely a moment for ‘me time’.
o Exhausted beyond belief and no plan of how to move forward.

There I was, stuck in a fog of motherhood

Don’t get me wrong. I did have some very precious times, I did laugh, and I did love. But sadly, yet not uncommonly, these experiences were, for a long time, overshadowed by the darkness. I found this time incredibly difficult and distressing.

One year in and I was ready for a challenge – a change – to become creative again, get back into some sort of work. I craved the space and time to have my own thoughts. And partake in something adulty. I wanted to go back to work.

But I knew at this point that I didn’t want to go back into the 9-5 working week again. The regimented structure has never really suited me.

I wanted to be creative, be practical, to be helping others. With a Degree in Occupational Therapy and mountain of experience I found myself caught in a whirlwind of ideas battling it out.

What do I do? How do I do it? And where do I start?!

I wanted to use my brain again and was so desperate to regain some level of sanity!

Feeling frustrated and confused, I just couldn’t make any decisions any more. So, I decided to throw the gauntlet down and let the universe tell me what to do….

This is what I did:

I put my big girl pants on, and I did five things that changed my life forever:

1) I surrendered to the universe. (Sitting crossed legged, eyes closed, palms facing up I took a big deep breath and said “I surrender to your guidance. I trust in the path you will show me. I am ready, show me what to do, where to start.”)

2) I allowed myself to create some ‘me time’, with space to think and plan. (This involved grandparents taking my boy to playgroups/park/shopping/anywhere so I could grab an hour to myself)

3) I started to make positive change happen. (I grabbed opportunities when I saw them)

4) YOGA (weekly, regular yoga sessions)

5) I made an appointment with a Nutritional Therapist (This transformed my entire system: mood, weight, and lifted my fog)

I had no idea that a brand-new world was about to explode right in front of me!

After a whole year of self-learning, self-discovery, acceptance and self-love my next chapter began.

I found myself immersed in reading books and watching YouTube videos on starting up home businesses, female entrepreneurship, manifestations and visualisation work. I’ve always used visualisation and manifestation techniques to guide a lot of my decision making and trust in my intuition. So, for me this was familiar ground, it felt safe and welcoming, but also highly enticing…

By opening up, letting go, and taking a path of self-exploration I had created the space I needed to figure out a way forward.

Like a lightbulb moment! I knew that I could use my professional expertise as an Occupational Therapist, a Holistic Life Coach, and my own experiences as a mum, to create Occupational Wellness programs for other mums!

The more I immersed myself in this vision of my future, the more I started to feel myself being guided towards setting up a business which could help hundreds, if not thousands of other mums.

As the realisation that this is what I should be doing grew, I found myself waking up with butterflies in my stomach. I had just been through a huge transformation myself. And if I found a way to become unstuck, to find my calling. Then maybe I could help other mums, just like me, to find their passions again, regain their identity, their motivation toward creating the life they want.

I realised I had a story to tell.

Spread the word, support, empower and inspire…Yes!

New ideas were exploding in my head. It was like a massive ‘bomb of clarity’ had just been dropped. This was how I could incorporate all my passions and achieve fulfilment. It was so exhilarating!

I felt I was being guided from a place of darkness and confusion into a new enriched and gratifying world. I had taken a twisted path to get here, but I now realised that I had the ability and the skills and the desire to help other women who were feeling isolated, disconnected and stuck. Help them to regain their confidence, to trust in themselves, discover their own passions and reinstate balance.

I wanted to help these amazing women to reach a place of clarity and empowerment. I was finally on my path.

I wanted to call out to other mums, to say it’s OK not to feel OK, its normal to be bewildered and exhausted by the trials of motherhood.

To give hope, inspiration to others, to follow their instincts and discover their passions. To provide a place of belonging and togetherness, a platform to voice our emotions and normalise the craziness of motherhood which so often we don’t feel we can vocalise.

It’s not been an easy ride, far from it. I continue to come up against challenges. But, through months of hard work, perseverance and dedication I have developed a new way to work through them.

Surrendering to the universe and throwing blind faith at my intuition was THE BEST decision I ever made.

I have turned my life around…and for the better!

I am now loving my journey into motherhood and being a mum. I finally have clarity in my life and the bond with my child is so strong and I feel connected with who I am. I’m happy, and I’m busy creating a life I love.

I am inspired every single day to reach out to others. My life is better than it has ever been, and I am the very best version of myself.

And for that I owe everything to my son. My baby. My life changer. My world.

Without him exploding into my life I wouldn’t be here today. Motivated to create change, to be part of a movement in time.

To empower and inspire women all over the globe to be open, to share their story, to feel understood and have the confidence to make their voice heard.

Remember: You are not alone; we will do this together. You have got this, and the sisterhood has got your back

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

Come join ‘The Connected Mother Collective’ we are waiting for you.

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